Bro. I Don't NoZe But I've Been Told makes his picks
My bracket has Baylor taking the East, along with the repeating of the phrase "Deuce with a deuce" at an all time high. The team will be fired up and rolling over Kentucky after an "anonymous source" leaked an e-mail proclaiming that Anthony Davis planned to steal all of PJ3's Jolly Ranchers from the locker room and that Doron Lamb mocked the spelling of Quincy Acy's middle name.
Kansas St. will win the South after all the other teams forfeit, fearing that if they win, KSU Head Coach and Scariest Man Alive Frank Martin will kill them in their sleep. In the Midwest, St. Mary's will have another miracle simply because Jesus gets a big kick out of it. Michigan St. will dominate the West. They’ll become much more athletic after the car industry fails and bicycle transportation becomes the norm.
In the Final Four, Baylor will overtake Sparty, with Brady Heslip leading the way and a Canadian flag draped onto his back, (turns out he gave up hockey at age six after an incident we'd rather not mention). Coach Martin will explode leaving behind a mushroom cloud of angry confetti five minutes into their game against St. Mary’s, convincing the Wildcats to forfeit. As a result, the Catholic Crusaders of St. Mary’s will take on the Baptist Barbers at Baylor. I think we all know how this one ends.